No Christmas until after Thanksgiving. But after Thanksgiving, I have no restraint. Throughout our married life, we always put up our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. I was half-tempted this year to just go with my parent's flow... to dissolve into their Christmas traditions and decor. Leave my cute tree in the basement of my house—in storage.
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| The Moravian star Chris and I found in Bethlehem, PA.. our very favorite Christmas item |
But then I remembered my girl. She needs to know that she and I are a family. We have our own traditions, and we have our own Christmas tree. So, I drove over to the house and dragged the tree and the Christmas boxes out of the lonely basement. (That's the first time I have ever done that. And I am stronger than I realized—in more ways than physically. Roles form in marriage that makes you almost believe you can't do some things.)
Erika “helped” to decorate the tree; and as I do every year, I reminisced about each ornament. (Chris, like many men, never really got involved in trimming the tree, so I’m used to it being a rather solitary event.)
I pulled out a couple of ornaments that were given to me by a friend several years ago. Each bares a very significant word (this year, more than any other year)—“Peace” and “Joy”. My nightly prayer with Erika is that Jesus would give us peace and joy when we are feeling sad about Daddy. This was a very visual reminder of the granting of that request. A gift.
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| Poor Erika never received a handknit stocking from Mommy; but this year inherited Daddy's (it is strangly comforting to not have an extra stocking... I guess procrastination DOES pay!) |
What a blessing from God children are after a huge loss. I had just lost Joel a few months earlier and I certainly didn't want to have anything to do with Christmas, but my kids insisted that we get out our tree and I cried my way through setting it up. So our kids were a path to healing for both of us. On a funny side note, Joel had always put up the lights and I hated that job and that was part of the tears that came when I put up our tree. Long story short, we got a new tree the next year and enjoyed the wonderful invention of pre-lit trees! Ha! :) Blessings on you this season. What a pleasure to read your stories and see your pictures as you travel this road. Leaning hard on God, Susanne
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susanne, for the encouragement and understanding. Shared experience is so comforting, and God is gracious to put fellow sufferers near eachother. Love to you and yours this Christmas season.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Susanne, for the encouragement and understanding. Shared experience is so comforting, and God is gracious to put fellow sufferers near eachother. Love to you and yours this Christmas season.
ReplyDeleteDear Emily,
ReplyDeleteThis sentence deserves to be framed and on the wall of every house in the land: "Roles form in marriage that makes you almost believe you can't do some things." Very well said!
And may this season of high holy days--Advent, Christmas, Epiphany--bring comfort and strength as you and Erika celebrate the continued goodness of God in the gift of his Son.
Peace to you both.
fred