Make Us Glad!

I spent the first anniversary of Chris' death away from home. I was in Arizona. And as I sat on the sunny balcony early that morning, I was so relieved that I had planned it the way I did. The sun streamed over my legs. I held my coffee and my Bible. The tears came freely. I recounted the days and hours leading up to his departure--and the days and hours following. I was a bit fearful to conduct this recounting, but it seemed very important for me. And, as I expected, it was extremely painful. I remembered things I hadn't thought on for a very long time. But when I was done, it felt a bit like a heavy weight was lifted.

And both the sun and the Son seeped into every pore, bringing warmth and healing. 

And then my sweet girlfriends and I ate delicious food and soaked in more sun at the pool. Thank you, my dear friends, for being with me in this! The day that started in tears ended in laughter. I prayed that somehow this may be a metaphor. That in life, abundance of laughter may come after abundance of tears. Beauty from ashes. Joy in the morning.

I pray with the psalmist: "Make us glad according to the days in which You have afflicted us!" (Ps. 90:15) Spurgeon (in his Treasury of David) says about this verse: "If we have fierce affilictions, we may look for overflowing delights, and our faith may boldly ask for them."

And so I boldly ask, "Make us glad!"